Suzie's Parents Got Divorced

This is Suzie Marmot. Suzie’s parents got divorced and it was her fault.

Her mommy got fat. Now she drinks a whole box of white zinfandel every day and stays up all night on her computer trying to find a boyfriend.

Suzie almost never sees her daddy anymore. He got laser eye surgery and bought a sports car. Now he lives in a condo with a blonde woman named Heather. Heather doesn’t like Suzie.

The only time Suzie’s mommy and daddy ever talk is on the 10th of the month when her mommy gets drunk and calls her daddy to slur her words and tell that shiftless bastard he’s late with the child support again.

Suzie is a very sad marmot. Don’t be like Suzie Marmot. Leave your parents alone.