One day when the last bell rang at Dingly Elementary, Peter Puppy got so excited he ran out to play with all the other kids and forgot to take his books with him. "Oh no," thought Peter after all his friends split up and headed off into the late afternoon. "How will I do my 
homework?" When he got home his mommy was very upset with him.
“You run right back down to that school young man,” she told him, “and get your books!”
So as an old October twilight came to Dingly Dell the setting sun threw the long shadows of autumn against the graying hills and Peter Puppy went back to school. When he got there the front doors were still unlocked. He let himself in and walked down the hallway toward his classroom. Peter felt strange being at school so late in the day. The halls were dark and quiet and they seemed so big without all the other children in them. But as he approached his classroom he could see light coming from under the door and he felt better knowing that his teacher, Mr. Knucklypaws, was still there. Peter liked Mr. Knucklypaws.
When Peter Puppy opened the door he discovered that Mr. Knucklypaws was not alone. Mrs. Ling Ling Panda was sitting on Mr. Knucklypaws’ desk with Mr. Knucklypaws in front of her. The two of them were playing an odd game, almost like a dance, only without the rhythm. Mr. Knucklypaws had his pants bunched up around his ankles and Mrs. Ling Ling Panda was making sounds like Peter’s mommy makes when she’s upstairs working on taxes with Uncle Reggie and is not to be disturbed.
Peter stood in the doorway for what seemed like a very long time until Mrs. Ling Ling Panda opened her narrow eyes and spotted him. She shrieked and jumped down off the desk. Mr. Knucklypaws grabbed his pants and yanked them up all in one motion. The two of them fidgeted and tugged at their clothes and Mr. Knucklypaws said, “Peter – what are you doing here?”
“I forgot my books,” said Peter.
“Oh, well, um, well I see,” said Mr. Knucklypaws.
Mrs. Ling Ling Panda covered her pretty face as she squirmed behind the desk.
“Listen, Peter,” said Mr. Knucklypaws. “I think it would be best if you didn’t tell anyone that you saw me here with Mrs. Ling Ling Panda. You see, I was helping her with her citizenship application. You know Mrs. Ling Ling Panda’s English isn’t very good. But she doesn’t want anyone to know that I help her sometimes. She’s worried about what other people might think. So I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this, ever. O.k.?”
“You mean keep a secret?” asked Peter.
“That’s right,” said Mr. Knucklypaws. “We’ll have a secret – just you, me and Mrs. Ling Ling Panda.”
Peter’s mommy and daddy told him it was wrong to keep secrets. But if Mr. Knucklypaws said so, he thought it must be o.k. He gathered up his books, said goodbye to Mr. Knucklypaws and Mrs. Ling Ling Panda and went back home. As he walked his little head was very busy. He thought about what he had seen and he struggled to understand why Mr. Knucklypaws would want him to keep a secret. Peter was a very confused little puppy.
When he got home, his mommy could tell something was wrong.
“What happened?” asked Mommy.
“Nothing,” said Peter.
Mommy said, “Don’t tell me nothing happened. I can tell something is wrong. Now tell Mommy what’s the matter.”
Mommies are smarter than puppies.
“I can’t,” said Peter.
Mommy protested, “And why not?”
“Because it’s a secret,” said Peter.
Mommy leaned her tight face down and glared right into Peter’s big puppy eyes. She gritted her teeth and asked, “what have I told you about keeping secrets?”
Well, with that, naturally Peter Puppy told the truth and admitted to his mommy that he had seen Mr. Knucklypaws playing a strange game on his desk with Mrs. Ling Ling Panda.
Peter thought that would be the end of it, but he was wrong. For the next month all of Dingly Dell was in an uproar. The parents had special meetings at the school that lasted late into the night. Tommy and Sue Lin Ling Ling Panda stopped going to Dingly Elementary. Mr. Knucklypaws got sent to teach woodshop to bad kids at the alternative school in East Dingly.
Then things got worse.
One night Mr. Ling Ling Panda went out to the garage and shot himself in the head while the rest of the family slept. Tommy found Mr. Ling Ling Panda's body in the morning. The cat had eaten part of his left ear.
Mrs. Ling Ling Panda had to take Tommy and Sue Lin and move back to China. Because of the shame she brought to her family, she now works for Madame Lao mopping jizm from concrete floors. When she comes home one weekend a month Grandfather Ling Ling Panda hits her with his cane.
Sue Lin Ling Ling Panda doesn’t go to school anymore. She also works for Madame Lao stitching Nikes and blowing Swedes. She makes three dollars a week.
Tommy Ling Ling Panda got sold to Master Choy. Tommy works 16 hours every day at the lead-based toy paint factory. He went blind and his fingers can’t feel anything.
As for Mr. Knucklypaws, things weren’t really all that bad. A month after he got transferred to the alternative school his attorney, Mr. Rothstein Badger, won a lawsuit against the Dingly School District and Mr. Knucklypaws got to come back and teach third grade at Dingly Elementary again. Mr. Rothstein Badger argued that the transfer violated tenure rights and that the district only went after Mr. Knucklypaws in the first place because of his inter-species proclivities. The money that was supposed to go for new playground equipment instead went to pay for Mr. Rothstein Badger’s hair plugs. And all this happened because Peter Puppy would not keep to himself the fact that Mr. Knucklypaws enjoyed boning a bamboo eater on his desk after work.
None of the other kids play with Peter Puppy anymore. They blame him for everything, as they should. He was a very bad little puppy. The older boys pull his ears and call him a pussy. His mommy and daddy avoid eye contact with him. He’s very sad all the time and he’s doing very badly in school.
Learn from Peter Puppy. Bad things might happen to you. You might see things that upset you and you might want to tell your mommy and daddy. But when those things happen, you should never, ever tell the truth.
homework?" When he got home his mommy was very upset with him.“You run right back down to that school young man,” she told him, “and get your books!”
So as an old October twilight came to Dingly Dell the setting sun threw the long shadows of autumn against the graying hills and Peter Puppy went back to school. When he got there the front doors were still unlocked. He let himself in and walked down the hallway toward his classroom. Peter felt strange being at school so late in the day. The halls were dark and quiet and they seemed so big without all the other children in them. But as he approached his classroom he could see light coming from under the door and he felt better knowing that his teacher, Mr. Knucklypaws, was still there. Peter liked Mr. Knucklypaws.
When Peter Puppy opened the door he discovered that Mr. Knucklypaws was not alone. Mrs. Ling Ling Panda was sitting on Mr. Knucklypaws’ desk with Mr. Knucklypaws in front of her. The two of them were playing an odd game, almost like a dance, only without the rhythm. Mr. Knucklypaws had his pants bunched up around his ankles and Mrs. Ling Ling Panda was making sounds like Peter’s mommy makes when she’s upstairs working on taxes with Uncle Reggie and is not to be disturbed.
Peter stood in the doorway for what seemed like a very long time until Mrs. Ling Ling Panda opened her narrow eyes and spotted him. She shrieked and jumped down off the desk. Mr. Knucklypaws grabbed his pants and yanked them up all in one motion. The two of them fidgeted and tugged at their clothes and Mr. Knucklypaws said, “Peter – what are you doing here?”
“I forgot my books,” said Peter.
“Oh, well, um, well I see,” said Mr. Knucklypaws.
Mrs. Ling Ling Panda covered her pretty face as she squirmed behind the desk.
“Listen, Peter,” said Mr. Knucklypaws. “I think it would be best if you didn’t tell anyone that you saw me here with Mrs. Ling Ling Panda. You see, I was helping her with her citizenship application. You know Mrs. Ling Ling Panda’s English isn’t very good. But she doesn’t want anyone to know that I help her sometimes. She’s worried about what other people might think. So I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anyone about this, ever. O.k.?”
“You mean keep a secret?” asked Peter.
“That’s right,” said Mr. Knucklypaws. “We’ll have a secret – just you, me and Mrs. Ling Ling Panda.”
Peter’s mommy and daddy told him it was wrong to keep secrets. But if Mr. Knucklypaws said so, he thought it must be o.k. He gathered up his books, said goodbye to Mr. Knucklypaws and Mrs. Ling Ling Panda and went back home. As he walked his little head was very busy. He thought about what he had seen and he struggled to understand why Mr. Knucklypaws would want him to keep a secret. Peter was a very confused little puppy.
When he got home, his mommy could tell something was wrong.
“What happened?” asked Mommy.
“Nothing,” said Peter.
Mommy said, “Don’t tell me nothing happened. I can tell something is wrong. Now tell Mommy what’s the matter.”
Mommies are smarter than puppies.
“I can’t,” said Peter.
Mommy protested, “And why not?”
“Because it’s a secret,” said Peter.
Mommy leaned her tight face down and glared right into Peter’s big puppy eyes. She gritted her teeth and asked, “what have I told you about keeping secrets?”
Well, with that, naturally Peter Puppy told the truth and admitted to his mommy that he had seen Mr. Knucklypaws playing a strange game on his desk with Mrs. Ling Ling Panda.
Peter thought that would be the end of it, but he was wrong. For the next month all of Dingly Dell was in an uproar. The parents had special meetings at the school that lasted late into the night. Tommy and Sue Lin Ling Ling Panda stopped going to Dingly Elementary. Mr. Knucklypaws got sent to teach woodshop to bad kids at the alternative school in East Dingly.
Then things got worse.
One night Mr. Ling Ling Panda went out to the garage and shot himself in the head while the rest of the family slept. Tommy found Mr. Ling Ling Panda's body in the morning. The cat had eaten part of his left ear.
Mrs. Ling Ling Panda had to take Tommy and Sue Lin and move back to China. Because of the shame she brought to her family, she now works for Madame Lao mopping jizm from concrete floors. When she comes home one weekend a month Grandfather Ling Ling Panda hits her with his cane.
Sue Lin Ling Ling Panda doesn’t go to school anymore. She also works for Madame Lao stitching Nikes and blowing Swedes. She makes three dollars a week.
Tommy Ling Ling Panda got sold to Master Choy. Tommy works 16 hours every day at the lead-based toy paint factory. He went blind and his fingers can’t feel anything.
As for Mr. Knucklypaws, things weren’t really all that bad. A month after he got transferred to the alternative school his attorney, Mr. Rothstein Badger, won a lawsuit against the Dingly School District and Mr. Knucklypaws got to come back and teach third grade at Dingly Elementary again. Mr. Rothstein Badger argued that the transfer violated tenure rights and that the district only went after Mr. Knucklypaws in the first place because of his inter-species proclivities. The money that was supposed to go for new playground equipment instead went to pay for Mr. Rothstein Badger’s hair plugs. And all this happened because Peter Puppy would not keep to himself the fact that Mr. Knucklypaws enjoyed boning a bamboo eater on his desk after work.
None of the other kids play with Peter Puppy anymore. They blame him for everything, as they should. He was a very bad little puppy. The older boys pull his ears and call him a pussy. His mommy and daddy avoid eye contact with him. He’s very sad all the time and he’s doing very badly in school.
Learn from Peter Puppy. Bad things might happen to you. You might see things that upset you and you might want to tell your mommy and daddy. But when those things happen, you should never, ever tell the truth.
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